September 20, 2010

You are wondering if I am still here, right? I am, and have continued doing a variety of things on my path, but I have not updated this journal as I should have done. Bad, bad!

I will update it with, among other things, my impressions of the devotional I attended at my (new) local grove a couple of weeks ago, but for now, I point you to my Updated Shrine, as I prepare for my Solitary Fall Equinox Ritual, two days hence.

More later. I promise.

August 25, 2010

And now, finally, my son and I are in our own apartment and I have furnished it sufficiently for us to live comfortably, although I still have a list of things to get, sooner or later. Most importantly, a load of furniture was delivered this morning and I have finished unpacking.

I set up my shrine on a wide dresser in my bedroom/office, where I can see it and use it through the day, and where it will be out of sight of my visiting Christian mother-in-law. I spoke to my brother-in-law about my Druidry and he advised me not to force the issue with her, as she would see it as Satan-worship or something. I absolutely do not need confrontation with her, at this time.

Now that I am done with the non-stop shopping, it's time to get back to work on my job and also to continue my Druidical studies. Stay tuned!

August 18, 2010

I've landed in Dallas; my son and I are in my mother-in-law's condo. I'm sorry to say that I didn't read anything whatsoever on the trip here. And that is likely to continue, for a few days, at least. But, with any luck, we'll have our apartment set up this weekend.

I'm glad we are moving into our own place, since my mother-in-law has already expressed her expectation that Alex and I attend church with her each Sunday at the Highland Park Presbyterian Church. My son has declared that he is an atheist (typical 16 year old: reject EVERYTHING your parents try to instill in you), but has agreed to attend, in order to meet other kids his age at his new school.

Me? I'm having trouble with the idea. I brought my shrine. I can't imagine what my mother-in-law would think if I set it up. In my First Oath, I vowed to make my dedication plain - and already I am being tested. Considering that one of the reasons we are here in Dallas is to help my mother-in-law, I really don't want to alienate her. But I really really don't want to be forsworn.

Aargh.

I am tired. I drove 11 hours today and only arrived 6 hours ago. Time to sleep and think and ... well, just keep moving. There is too much to do.

Aargh.

August 10, 2010

I wrote and published my "brief" descriptions of the two Lughnasadh rituals for my DP documentation. I don't think they are really "brief", as I don't know how you can do justice to a ritual "briefly".

I think I must take a little break from active contribution to this journal: in three days, on Friday the 13th of August, I am moving (temporarily) with my son from Boston to Dallas. We are stopping in Pittsburgh, Chicago, and St. Louis on the way, to visit friends and relatives. But, I don't imagine I'll get much done other than reading in the evening, during the 6 days we will take en route, and once we arrive, I will certainly have some "set up" to do to make our apartment livable.

I'm taking only clothing, my computer, books for my Druidic studies, and my Shrine.

The next week of Michael Dangler's study guide is the beginning of Nature Awareness. We are expected to find a place in Nature that we can visit at least once a week from here on out to spend time observing. I have quite a collection of "wild" spots I know about and love in Boston, but I know of none in Dallas. It will take me some time before I can really get going there.

I am also disappointed that, having just bonded with two local groves, I am uprooting and moving 1,500 miles away. I see that the Eagle Mountain Protogrove is in Arlington, TX, which is between Dallas and Fort Worth. I.e., not far at all. I'll contact them once I land in Texas.

August 9, 2010

Yesterday I attended another High Day ritual: Lughnasadh 2010 with Nemos Ognios Protogrove. Ceisiwr Serith wrote and led the ritual. It incorporated his "Lughnasadh Module" based on Máire MacNeill's The Festival of Lughnasa, in which the festival is seen as the replacement of the Crom Dubh, the "Black Bull" of the Old Gods, by Lugh, the shining Champion of the New Gods. The rite also incorporated the standard ritual customs of the grove. For example, all rituals start outside the ritual site, where the purpose of the rite is stated, the participants are purified, and the hearth fire is lit. The people then process into the ritual site with the fire tender carrying the hearth fire in a cauldron (the xāsā). The fire in the ritual area is set up on a brazier (the hṇg^wnis) and is lit from the hearth fire. The Proto-IE God Xáryomen - the "Lord of the Law of the People" - is always honored, regardless of the hearth culture of the rest of the rite.

The ritual area was set up ahead of time: four poles marked off a large rectangle. At one end of the rectangle, two poles hung with wreaths marked the door through which we entered and left the ritual area. Within the ritual area, the brazier was set up with a pyramid of wood and tinder, ready to be lit - the Fire. Various items needed during the ritual, such as cups for sharing out the water of life, were placed near the brazier.

Between the brazier and the door was a tall pole, hung with various symbolic items - the Tree. At its base were several images, lying down, to be set upright during the ritual.

On the opposite side of the Fire from the Tree was a low table (the speltá) with various other items for the ritual, where the Priest will sit, and behind his seat was a large covered cauldron (the mundus) - the Well.

Outside the ritual area at the spot where we began our procession was the hearth, several pitchers with offerings, charcoal, incense, and such. To this we brought our final offerings which we'd gathered in the house: a bowl of first fruits (fruit, vegetables, flowers), contributed by everybody, and a small bowl with one dime from each guest of the ritual. (Cei explained that this was not only silver, but let all the guests to be symbolically included when the ritual said something like "we have brought these gifts for you", the gifts being things like incense and such that actually only the members of the grove had supplied.)

In the ritual, the Priest was Cei, the Fire Tender was Jenna, and the Champion was Nevin. I carried in the bowl of first fruits. Christine carried in the bowl of dimes. Emily - another grove member - and Adam also participated, making us a group of seven in all.

The Priest blew a horn and called us to assemble at the Hearth. We followed the Champion, bearing a spear, symbolizing Lugh's mighty spear. The Fire Tender invoked Brighid to inspire our words, her flame burning within us. The Priest stated the purpose of the rite: We are here at the feast of Lugh to honor, praise, and worship the hero of the gods. Lugh Lámhfhada Lugh Samhioldanach He whose arms extend greatly He of many arts May he be pleased with this rite. May he be our champion May all our fields and crafts be blessed by him. The Fire Tender purified us all with water and lit the hearth fire. We all sang to the Shining Lady of the hearth. Thus prepared, we processed to the ritual site, first the Champion with the spear, followed by the Priest carrying the sacrifice, the Fire Tender carrying the hearth cauldron, and the rest of us with a pitcher of beer and a bowl of whiskey, the first fruits, and the silver. We entered the ritual space, one by one, singing praise to the Earth Mother. The Priest put the sacrifice down on the speltá, grain was offered to the Earth Mother on a spot next to the brazier, and the Fire Tender put down the hearth fire. The Priest delimited the ritual space and invoked fire to take possession of it. The Fire Tender moved a coal from the hearth to the brazier and enflamed it. The Priest invoked the cosmology of waters, land and sky, with the living flame burning at the center, and restated the purpose of the rite: Come we together on this holy day across the distances that lay between us to this time, to this place, for one strong purpose: To worship the Holy Ones in the proper manner To establish a treaty peace with those who dwell in the wild, To do special honor to Lugh, on this his feast day. An image of Janus at the base of the tree was set up and a libation of red wine was poured to him. Mhanannán was invoked to open the gates. The Priest invoked Xáryomen and we all honored him. We welcomed the ancestors: the mundus was opened and the silver was offered into it. We welcomed and offered to Lugh. We welcomed and offered to all the gods. The Priest and the Fire tender stated that at Beltane, we'd offered to the Outsiders and Nature Spirits and appeased them, gaining consent to till the land, "under the gaze of Crom Dubh". The priest revealed the sacrifice - the bull himself (symbolized by a piece of pita bread), bedecked with gold. He sprinkled water and barley on the sacrifice. We all sprinkled barley on it. We all declared that Lugh is our champion, who made our crops grow. The Champion walked around the fire with the spear and stabbed the bull. The Priest cut off the bull's head. The Priest put the body of the bull onto the bowl of First Fruits and carried it out through the door of the ritual area, accompanied by the Champion. They went to a (previously dug) hole and the Priest stated that the Old Bull is dead and that Lugh, the Young Bull is here in his place. The Priest put the bull into the hole, put the first fruits on top, and filled in the hole. He picked up a bowl of wild food (placed there ahead of time) and returned to the gate with the Champion. He was challenged, and the Champion stateed that gifts have been given in both directions and a treaty-peace is established. The Priest brought the wild food around and all ate. The Priest made an offering of beer. The people made their individual praise offerings. The Priest affixed the head of the bull to the spear, held the spear high, and put the head into the fire. He declared: Beheaded, buried, and burnt. Crom Dubh, you have well undergone the necessary sacrifices. Go, now, to the celestial realms, where dwell the shining ones. Take your seat among them, as ruler beside Lugh. The Priest offered bread to the deities, the ancestors, and the nature spirits as a final offering. He cast the runes: Eihwaz: Ancestors Laguz: Water Jera: Harvest The Priest pondered and declared that the Sacrifice had been accepted into the waters of the Underworld and was pleasing - a good omen. The Priest took a bowl to the Fire Tender, who poured the Waters of Life (honey water) into it. We all invoked the Fire and the Water and the blessings descended into the Waters of Life. The Priest distributed the Waters to all the people. We drank. We then thanked all the beings, in reverse order: the deities, Lugh, Xáryomen, the Ancestors. The Fire Tender offered to Mhanannán mac Lir and asked him to close the gate. We thanked the Earth Mother. The Fire Tender took a coal from the brazier and put it onto the Hearth. She extinguished the brazier. She made a final offering to the hearth, and extinguished it. The Priest declared the sacred site dissolved. We recessed.

And then we feasted.

I found this ritual very impressive and very satisfying. I didn't notice any glitches at all. The Priest, the Fire Tender, and the Champion all had, near as I could tell, memorized their parts, and recited them flawlessly. (Cei DID consult a rune cheat sheet to help interpret the Omen.) As in my first ritual, a week ago, I can't say that I entered into the right mind-space to actually feel the other beings there with us. Oh, I want that!

The structure and purpose was very interesting. We had the standard COoR, with a mini-ritual embedded within: the sacrifice of the Black Bull - the Old God, Crom Dubh - and his replacement by the Young God, Lugh, as Ruler. Also, there was the thread of offering to/appeasement of the Nature Spirits and Outsiders, whose land we'd taken for agriculture back in Beltane - the "establishment of a treaty-peace with those who dwell in the wild" from the statement of purpose. And there seemed to be something of "well, Crom Dubh, you are an Outsider, but now that you've ceded kingship to Lugh, go sit next to him with the Gods."

August 2, 2010

Yesterday I attended my first High Day ritual: Lughnasadh 2010 with Ocean's Tide Grove. I was told we'd start at 2 at such-and-such picnic area at Lincoln Woods State Park. I made sure to arrive at 1:30, since it wouldn't do to be late!

I was the first to arrive.

Over the next hour and a quarter or so, Noel, Steven, and Anthony arrived. Is this the "Neo-Pagan (non-)punctuality" I've heard about? :)

We set up a roaring fire in the fire pit. We dug an offering pit. We placed various ritual objects around on stones: offerings (oil, grain, ale, fruit, Grape Crush for the outsiders, and so on), a bag of runes, a bowl for the well. We hung a drinking horn on the tree. Basically, we made sure that everything we needed for the ritual was present and handy.

Steven handed out sections of the ritual for each of us to perform. I had a several, myself: Honoring the Earth Mother, Land/Sea/Sky and Completion of Consecration of Space, Opening the Gates Between the Worlds, Outdwellers Appeasement, Honoring and Inviting the Gods, Closing the Gates.

And then, when we were ready, we began.

We processed in, singing. Anthony offered the opening prayer, I honored the Earth Mother and we sang again. Anthony grounded and united us with a Two Powers meditation. The Statement of Purpose for the ritual: We are here to welcome the first harvest, to give thanks to the Earth and the Kindreds that we have survived and prospered to see the fruits of our efforts over the past year, We honor Lugh, the victorious and the long-armed, and we honor Fliodhas, woman of the woodlands, protector of animals and keeper of the herd of plenty. We established our sacred Grove: the Fire, the Well, and the Tree. I invoked Land, Sea, and Sky, and finished consecrating the space. I called to Manannan mac Lir to open the gate between our world and the Otherworld. I left our ritual space and faced away. I offered soda to the Outdwellers - the Fir Bolg and the Fomorians, in our Celtic ritual - and poured it onto the ground. We invoked Brighid, "goddess of creative expression", for Bardic Inspiration. We honored and invited the three Kindreds: the Ancestors, the Nature Spirits, and the God, offering bread, bird seed, and oil to the fire, respectively. Anthony recentered us and we prepared to make the Key Offerings. We honored Lugh Samildanach and offered him ale, bread, and fruit. We honored Fliodhas and offered her milk, flowers, and grain. We all gave personal offerings to the three Kindreds. I had brought grapes, which I offered in turn to each. I probably should have brought specific offerings for each Kindred, but I'm new at this. We prayed and sang some more and sought an omen. Anthony cast the runes and interpreted them: Kenaz: Inspiration Þurisaz: Progress Through Challenge Raðio: Steady Progress Thus: ideas, meeting opposition with conflicting ideas, and progress. We each meditated on how we could use these blessings, called the blessing down to the drinking horn full of ale, poured some ale into individual cups, and drank. We thanked Lugh and Fliodhas, the three Kindreds, Manannan mac Lir, Brighid, and the Earth Mother. Anthony regrounded us, I closed the gates, we Affirmed Continuity with our Ancestors, ended the rite, and processed out.

I learned a lot and found it very satisfying. I was pleased to have Lugh as one of the key deities and was interested to see the Fir Bolg and the Fomorians as the Outdwellers, since I actually knew who these all were, from my reading of the Cath Maige Tuired and Lebor Gabála Érenn, back in my Celtic Mythology class in Harvard.

It was not without glitches:

• We had failed to set aside flowers for Fliodhas. Steven searched the surrounding woods, mid-ritual, but found none. So, he made do with some pocket change.
• One of the "Key Offerings" was supposed to be "joy and mirth" via taking time to play "Lughnasadh games" - Frisbee and Uno. Unfortunately, we had started late and some had time constraints, so we put those off to later - and we never got to them.
• We didn't actually call down the blessing into the horn before distributing the ale. We passed it out first, and called down the blessing - and some people had already drunk their ale, because, hey - beer!

However, it became clear to me that I need to start my Mental Discipline practice sooner rather than later: I recognized the Two Powers meditation and did my best to visualize as directed and enter the right Mind Space (as Steven called it, later), but really did not succeed.

I also want to find the songbook where all those songs we sang came from, since they were all completely unfamiliar to me. Are these perhaps in the Bard's Guild songbook 2009? The songs: We Approach the Sacred Grove, Blossom Lifter, Unity Chant, Mothers and Fathers of Old, Fur and Feather, Hail All the Gods, Gods and Dead and Mighty Sidhe, Walk With Wisdom.

Now I need to write up this ritual in an essay for the "High Day ritual" requirement.

July 30, 2010

I reordered this journal to be more blog-like: the most recent entries are at the top, so one can see immediately if there is something new, rather than scrolling through to find what has been added.

I performed my First Oath Ritual. It did not go easily; I did not easily relax, and when I was called to "see such-and-such in my mind's eye", I saw nothing unless I closed my eyes, and even then, the images of my imagination were indistinct. I expect all of this will go easier once I start training in concentration, meditation, and trance.

I drew three runes at the appropriate time, to represent the blessings offered by the Ancestors, the Nature Spirits, and the Deities.

	Berkano: Birch, Woman
	Gebo: Gift, Sacrifice
	Algiz: Axe, Protection

I recited my First Oath, only slightly modified from the one in the Dedicant's Manual:

I, Peter, before the Gods, the Spirits of Nature, and the Ancestors, declare myself to be a Pagan, a seeker of the Old Ways, a worshipper of the Elder Gods.
With this holy oath I set my foot upon the path, the Druid's Way, and I vow to make my dedication plain.
I vow to seek virtue in my life, to do right by my kin, my friends and my community,
I vow to make my Paganism real, by keeping the rites and works that call to me.
I vow to deepen my understanding of the Ways through study to fill my mind with the truths of the Elder Paths.
These things I swear to the Gods, with those gathered here as my witnesses. So may it be.

I feel like I've taken a real step. I need to meditate on this.

July 29, 2019

I ran into some hurdles while preparing my First Oath ritual.

The ADF Dedicant Path Through the Wheel of the Year has a fine ritual to surround the First Oath. I quite like it; it seems like it has many of the elements of the Core Order of Ritual (COoR): honoring the Earth Mother, invoking the Gatekeeper, praising the three Kindreds, offering the Oath, casting the Omen, thanking the Kindreds, the Gatekeeper, and the Earth Mother.

In order to do this, you need "a working altar", with tree, well, and fire, and a "divination tool". It so happens that I have a set of runes that I bought many years ago. It's going to be challenging to interpret them during the ritual, so I need to prepare a "cheat sheet". And I decided that my "working altar" may as well be the beginning of my shrine. So, I just spent several days shopping. I went up to Salem, MA, which is (no surprise!) full of occult/magick/witchcraft shops.

I bought a little cast-iron cauldron to be my Well. I chose one which, I think, might actually have been intended as a cooking vessel; it was imported from Africa and has a lid and a handle and is otherwise unadorned, as opposed to ones I saw with pentacles and such on them. I spent a long time debating on which size to get. I chose one which seems easily portable, since I expect to take my Hallows and perform rituals outside, now and then.

I bought an incense burner and some charcoal, for offering to the Fire, and small candles in white, red, and black, and candle holders.

I bought a little ceramic bowl with a frog on it, hand-made by a pagan, for use as an offering bowl.

I didn't see anything which seemed like a good Tree. So, the next day, I went to Hale Reservation and found, literally, a windfall: a branch from an Oak tree, knocked off by the weather. It had a bunch of young acorns on it, and a bunch of brown dead leaves. I stripped off the leaves.

And today, I got a few accessories: a table cloth and a bud vase from Crate and Barrel, and a metal candle tray from Pier 1.

I cleared off the table next to my desk and put on the table cloth. I filled the bud vase with soil we created ourself in our compost bin and embedded the Oak branch in it. I set that up in the center of the table, put the cauldron to the left, put the metal tray with three candles and an incense burner to the right, put the offering bowl in the middle in front of the tree and voila! I have a rudimentary shrine. I took a photo and wrote it up on my Shrine page.

Now to prepare my Rune Cheat Sheet, finalize my First Oath, and do the ritual...

My Rune Cheat Sheet is ready. I copied the table from the Dedicant Manual, complete with minimal interpretations. I believe that the runes in that table were not in the correct order: Ehwaz and Mannaz were swapped, as were Dagaz and Odhila. I corrected that in my table. I also ordered the recommended Rune book, so I can learn to do this without help, eventually. Regardless, I will update my rune table with my own understanding of the meaning of the runes, as I develop understanding.

I'm tired. Tomorrow, I will print out the ritual (since I will need to read it), make sure I understand exactly what I am doing at each step, and will take my First Oath.

July 22, 2010

Homework for week 2: Write your First Oath down in your Dedicant Notebook. You will not be required to turn it in with the rest of your Dedicant materials, but you will find it very useful when you review your progress from time to time, and it will keep you focused on the Dedicant's path when it seems like nothing else will.

July 16, 2010

Homework for week 1: carefully consider the following questions, answer them, and write the answers in my Dedicant's Notebook.

• Why have you chosen to take the first steps on the Dedicant Path?

  I am a Seeker.

  I was originally attracted to ADF because I was fascinated by Magic and I liked the work of Isaac Bonewits. I fell away when I realized that ADF's focus was to be a Neopagan religion, and I was not looking for Religion at that time. Now, nineteen years later, I am looking for Religion, and I find ADF's Druidry attractive. I quite like its focus on education and study as well as practice and belief. I want to learn more and discover whether it feels right for me.

• Is this a step on your path, or will this become the Path itself?

  If ADF Druidry is right for me, after the Dedicant's Path, I would like to step onto the Initiate's Path as well as join the Magician's Guild.

• What do you expect to learn?

  I expect to learn more about the Indo-European pagan cultures from antiquity. I expect to learn mental discipline and meditation and trance.

• What would you like to get out of this journey?

  I would dearly love to form actual spiritual connections with the Kindreds. I have never felt such from prayer, so far, but I hope that ADF ritual will enable that.

• Do you know where this path will take you?

  I know that I will read and learn a lot, but I don't know if I will complete the path and swear the Dedicant's Oath. I will do so only if ADF Druidry really does meet my spiritual needs and I can honestly swear to follow it.

• If you have just joined ADF, why have you chosen to work on this immediately?
  and/or
  If you have been in ADF for a long time, why are you starting only now?

  Both questions apply to me: I joined ADF 19 years ago and dropped out after a year, and I have just rejoined and am starting the Dedicant's path immediately.

  Basically, my life changed a lot during the 18 year hiatus. I now recognize spiritual needs in myself that I did not see when I first joined, and having rejoined, it looks to me like ADF Druidry might fulfill those needs. I want to find out.

• Does it look hard or easy?

  The reading and writing look easy, but the doing looks hard. It will require good self discipline to meditate regularly for at least five months, when I have never done it before.

• Which requirements appear to be difficult to you now, and which appear to be easy?

  The mental discipline requirement looks hard. Building a spiritual practice drawn from specific cultures looks hard, since I'm not coming in with specific hearth cultures in mind. Reading, study, and writing essays looks to be easy.

• Do you have doubts, questions, or concerns that you need to ask about?

  No. I can't say for sure whether this will be right for me, but I will figure that out by actually walking the Dedicant's Path.

July 14, 2010

To date, I have done the following:

• I've taken one pass through the Dedicant's Manual
• I've taken one pass through "The ADF Dedicant Path Through the Wheel of the Year" and have ordered all the supplementary books and such it calls for.
• I've been in communication with Ceisiwr Serith, the Grove Organizer of the Nemos Ognios Protogrove, and have accepted his invitation to attend their Lughnasad ritual on August 8.
• I purchased some silver beads at a craft store for use in offerings.
• I set up this website to my (current) taste.